Master the art of dirty talk with this complete guide. Learn how to talk sexy, explore the best dirty talk tips, and confidently ignite desire with your partner
How to Talk Dirty: The Ultimate Guide
There are many layers to being intimate with someone. Some might argue that sex starts long before you reach the bedroom. One way to spice up your intimate relationship and build a deeper connection is through dirty talk. Naughty talk fires both partners up and can be considered as a form of a foreplay. It is perfect for couples who spend most of their time apart and want to keep the sexy momentum of the relationship, as well as those who have the desire to share a degree of intimacy with their partner in general. It is a novel sexual experience for many people, since a stigma surrounding sexting exists and can sometimes try to distort your experience. While some may see dirty talk as cringeworthy or awkward, it actually has the opposite effect on intimacy if done correctly. In this article, we are going to go over the importance of dirty talk in relationships, how sexting may improve your overall intimacy, and give you the best dirty talk tips.
Why Dirty Talk Works
Good dirty talk is a perfect tool for any couple who wants to build up a sexy mood in a relationship. For new couples, naughty talk is a wonderful icebreaker, which also gives both parties the opportunity to get to know each other and build trust. For long-time couples, it is a tool for expressing sexual desires and experimenting. Dirty talk shows trust and appreciation and loosens up the mood before and during intimacy. However, be careful and don’t push too hard straight away, since it can have an opposite effect on intimacy and the aura in general.
The Science of Arousal Through Words
The amygdala and the hypothalamus, the two brain regions responsible for arousal and sexual drive, are stimulated by good dirty talk. Therefore, mastering the art of dirty talk teaches you how to stimulate the mind, preparing the partner for sex. Sex is much more than just being physically; many deem it to be a myriad of psychological aspects and expectations of what sex should be. Communication is sexy, and dirty talk makes it even sexier.
Emotional and Physical Benefits
The best dirty talk doesn’t need to be overly explicit. Gentle and playful naughty talk can also evoke feelings of anticipation, leaving your partner hanging on the ropes of desire. It can easily put both of you in a sexy mood and elevate your sexual experience. It deepens the connection between people and establishes a clear line of communication. The pair of lovers can feel safe and playful during dirty talk, which ultimately leads to better sex. Through a combination of physical and verbal intimacy, the couple reaches the pinnacle of arousal—both physical and emotional.
How to Talk Dirty with Confidence
How to talk dirty to someone is no easy feat. Good dirty talk leads to passionate sex and playful phrases being thrown throughout the process. Bad naughty talk can abruptly stop the entire sexual act. This is why we suggest following the footsteps described further in the article so that your dirty talk sounds natural, playful and not forced.
Breaking the Ice
Start slow. Figure out what your partner likes to avoid your first attempts at dirty talk being awkward and weird. Compliment their appearance, the way they’re dressed, or the smell of their perfume. Then, once you get easygoing with your softcore dirty talk, try being more bold and playful. Make tasteful jokes, innuendos and other lighthearted comments to appear natural and to not sound too desperate or pushy. The major goal of your character development here is to become at ease with conversations that are casually sexy and may not lead to sex necessarily. Have fun with the soulmate in love and explore what dirty talk means to you together.
Adopting the Right Tone and Pacing
This is a tricky matter that requires knowledge of your and your partner’s preferences. Some might need more time to ease into dirty talk, some are just waiting for the green light to go all in. It is generally best to start off slower and then pick up the pace if that’s the mood of the conversation. The tone of your messages depends largely on the vibe you’re going for.
Building Anticipation Through Naughty Talk
Building anticipation is probably one of the most fun aspects of dirty talk. Use elusive language, innuendos, and maybe even puns (if it is something you crave so much) to build anticipation and leave room for mystery and imagination in your dirty talk. Or go in the complete opposite direction and paint the picture of your deeds acting sexy with your partner and getting this desire in return. Both of these kinds of naughty talk create a sexy atmosphere. This is also an implicit way of asking your partner if they’re down to a certain sexual activity.
Best Dirty Talk Examples
If you struggle to come up with a way to start your dirty conversation, we have written up some spicy methods and phrases for you! We wanted to give you examples of phrases you could use both during sexting and face-to-face communication. Feel free to modify and tailor them in a way appropriate for your relationships and specific circumstances. Remember to always give and get consent first, as an inappropriately timed attempt to strike up a dirty conversation may cause friction between you and your partner (well, annoyance at least).
Flirty Texts to Start the Conversation
As was mentioned before, intimacy starts before you reach the bedroom. For this reason, sexting is a perfect way to engage in dirty talk throughout the day or whenever you are not together in general.
In the morning, you have the option to tell a partner about your last night’s dream. You could start the conversation with something like, “I had such a great dream last night…with you in it,” or just a simple “Good morning, sexy,” or “I miss you…”. These may not be the most innovative or unique spicy texts, but they sure can go a long way throughout the day.
As the day unfolds, you can invite your partner to take a shower with you with something as simple as, “I’m going to the shower, care to join me?”
If you are feeling confident, you can send something like, “Got a new sex toy today, want to see?” or “Have any plans for me for tonight?”
Let your imagination flow and look for opportunities throughout the day to send something spicy to the beloved one and fuel their anticipation in the evening. Just make sure you don’t overdo it and remain flirty, playful, and natural.
In-the-Moment Phrases
Dirty talk is an extremely powerful tool to maximize your pleasure during sex. It is also a fitting way to continuously make sure that your partner is enjoying the process. Use such phrases as “You like that?”, “Are you ready to be mine?”, “You are amazing, keep moving like that”, “I’m almost there, don’t stop”, “Look in my eyes.”. Again, this doesn’t seem like something revolutionary, but it definitely helps keep the sexual momentum and communication between the partners going.
Naughty Talk for Long-Distance Relationships
When the lovers have long distance relationships, it’s devastating, yet it can go the other way! There are many things you can do with your significant other to maintain your relationship long-distance when it comes to sex. Videocalls are one example of that. Playful dirty talk during the calls, teasing your body via video, and maybe even masturbating together are just some of the ways you can experience sex together while being physically apart.
Say something like “I wish I could take the next flight/train and make you mine”, “What about my body do you miss most?”, “I can’t wait for the next time we are alone together”, “No sex toy could ever replace the way you feel”. This is sure to make your calls more exciting and long-distance relationships less unbearable.
Phrases to Build Post-Intimacy Connection
Aftercare and communication after sex is no less, if more, important than foreplay and sex itself. Phrases like “That was amazing”, “This was the best sex of my life”, “You are perfect, I hope you know that”, “I always love it when you do *blank*”. This type of dirty talk reinforces trust and appreciation.
Tips for Good Dirty Talk
Good dirty talk might be hard to master for some, especially if you’re shy. In this section of the article, we will give you general dirty talk tips so that you can experience this aspect of sex comfortably and confidently.
Do’s and Don’ts of Dirty Talk
Here is the list of some things that we recommend for and against during dirty talk.
Do:
- Start slow. Don’t go all in right off the bet.
- Communicate with your partner. Pay attention to you and your partner’s mood and needs at the moment. Make sure you get consent to engage in sexual activities and that you are both on the same page regarding intimacy and dirty talk.
- Be descriptive. Use your words to ignite your significant other’s imagination and creativity.
Don’t:
- Push anything. Being too needy or aggressive will have the opposite arousal effect.
- Stress too much. The conversation should flow naturally and feel right and sexy for everyone involved.
- Be overly descriptive. This may come off weird. If you want to emphasize your partner’s certain features, turn to such words as thick, huge, and juicy.
- Be patient. No one becomes masters of dirty talk overnight. Give grace to your partner if they are still a bit shy or awkward when it comes to dirty talk or intimacy overall.
Using Humor to Ease Awkwardness
Jokes are perfect for making the atmosphere and your partner more relaxed. Staying playful and lighthearted makes intimacy more fun and enjoyable, especially if the relationship is new. Remember to keep the jokes respectful. Something a little bit self-deprecating (maybe making fun of your awkwardness) may be good to relax the atmosphere and show understanding of your partner’s feelings. A funny story might be a better route to go to keep the conversation going and lessen the tension.
Adapting to Your Partner’s Preferences
Always pay attention to your partner’s reaction. There are rarely things that are universally liked. The same goes for sex and dirty talk. If you have to, have an honest and open conversation about each other’s preferences and fantasies so that no one feels unheard or disrespected. This will only strengthen your bond and trust and elevate your sexual experiences even further.
Advanced Dirty Talk Techniques
For more experienced dirty talkers, we also included some ways to spice up your dirty talk and implement something new. Role play, physical sensations, and fantasies all go perfectly well with naughty talk.
Incorporating Role-Play
There are unlimited roles you can explore during your spicy conversations. You can try out different scenarios, such as dom/sub dynamic, some romantic fluff, or maybe you enjoy video games and would like to try on the role of your favorite couple from a game. There are as many opportunities as there are fantasies and kins—you just need to find the right ones.
Combining Words with Physical Sensations
Dirty talk goes hand in hand with physical touch during sex. “Touch me,” “Kiss me,” and “Bite me” are some of the most obvious examples of that. Some other interactions might include saying “Get over here” while sexually pulling your partner in for a kiss. You can also play with auditory sensations and whisper in your significant other’s ear or ask them to get louder during sex.
Exploring Fantasy Discussions
Dirty talk is perfect for exploring your desires, kinks and fantasies in a safe way. Visit some explicit websites if you need inspiration. If you have a new idea that you want to try out in bed, it may be worth it to role-play it in naughty talk of sexting first. You can always end the conversation if it is uncomfortable or be as explicit as you want before you actually try it in the bedroom. Remember about consent and being considerate of your partner’s feelings and mood. Such intimate conversations will deepen your connection and perhaps lead to some spicy discoveries about each other that you didn’t anticipate before. The bottom line—always remain respectful, sexy, and open-minded.
And if you are ready to go further and perhaps even earn some money with your sexuality, check out our other articles which will guide you in the right direction.
